9 Conversation Starters For Couples

by Geoff | Last Updated: November 18, 2020

Once you have wooed that special someone and the honeymoon period as a couple passes, you and your partner are likely to have already talked about anything and everything under the sun.

After spending all that time together as a couple, you might feel that you have fully understood your partner and that there is nothing else both of you can talk about. That said, it does not signify that your relationship has plateaued.

Things To Talk About In Your Relationship

In fact, it is common for relationships to exhaust all topics of discussion, especially if you’ve been together for quite some time and have established a constant schedule. This ultimately results in less communication and activities, so here are some conversation starters you can use when you want to chat with your partner but don’t know what to talk about.

8 ways of communication anyone can use to bring the spark back into your relationship

What’s Your Secret Utmost Dedication?

Your partner’s answer to this question might take you by surprise as it could reveal something about him/her that you didn’t know. It might also be a goal or ambition that motivates him/her instead of interest.

You might already know this but just a reminder not to impose your opinions regardless of how inapplicable you think their passion is. If you want your partner to know that you’re grateful for their courage and candor in opening up, it is pivotal that they feel that you’re sincerely listening and not make them feel it was a mistake telling you!

What Is Your Most Treasured Memory As A Child?

Given that there are many possible answers to this question, feel free to ask subsequent questions after hearing the reply. For instance, you can reciprocate by sharing your own answer to further foster mutual understanding.

Although everyone’s favorite childhood memory is unique, your partner’s answer is sure to give you a better understanding of him/her as a person because you can get to know the experiences that shape them to the person they are now.

Tell Me About Your Weirdest Carnal Encounter

If your relationship is a strong one and both of you have no issues or fear talking about your exes, this question can be an interesting topic. This question also brings up many follow up questions that will be intriguing for you to see and hear your other half struggle to answer out of awkwardness.

A word of caution — be prepared to get fired back with the same question!

How Do I Become A More Desirable Lover For You?

This question encourages a more transparent exchange of views that will build an even more solid bond between you and your partner / spouse. Feel free to share your thoughts as well.

If it works out, perhaps this can be an established topic for a monthly heart-to-heart session as a couple and ultimately improve your activity in the bedroom.

What Is Most Memorable About Your Relationship With ____?

Although you might be familiar with your partner’s acquaintances and loved ones, you might not know the backstory or history behind their relationship. Who knows? You might get to hear a hilarious memory about their encounter or a sweet story about that one family camping trip.

Don’t feel discouraged if your partner isn’t the type to get in touch with their emotional side. We all enjoy conversations about ourselves, so, perhaps this is the perfect question to get your boyfriend/girlfriend to divulge their inner feelings and thoughts.

Name Some Of My Habits That You Like

Really, you are the one who gains the most out of asking this question because not only will you know your partner’s preferences, but you will simultaneously be bombarded with praises too!

Even if your other half answers with the most simple things like the way you laugh or the way you look when you’re deep in thought, don’t treat it lightly. It reveals how attentive he/she is to you and gives you their perspective of your relationship and their feelings for you.

What Is Your Favorite Moment When We First Started Dating?

Remembering the time when you and your partner first met, followed by those unforgettable date experiences can be a really intimate and touching thing to do. Why stop there? Both of you could bring those memories back to life once again in the next opportunity. For example, I recall talking to my partner about how I found our third date as being more important than the first and second.

Instincts were telling me I had to spend more time on third date ideas if I wanted to win my partner over. First dates are nerve-wracking for obvious reasons and second dates is where we open up a little. However, on the third date, we have already opened up and exposed our vulnerability to our date which made it the more stressful to me than the previous two… and my solution was to plan it out the best I could to take my mind off my vulnerability. Opening up in this manner can remind your partner how much meeting them meant to you, which can reduce pressure!

Such a romantic and possibly tear-jerking question gets both of you to throwback and reminisce about your most loving memory as a couple. Talk about the best way to reinforce your feelings and connection with significant other.

When Was The Exact Moment You Realized Your Feelings For Me?

For this question, you might need to mentally prepare yourself for the sweetest response ever. His/her answer might be unexpected to you, and it gives you plenty of chances to further interrogate your partner. After he/she has shared, you can also take the chance to tell them your answer to the question.

Describe The Part About Your Job That You Are Most Pleased With

If your partner measures themselves largely by the success of their career, it makes perfect sense for you to ask him/her about the time they were most pleased with what they have accomplished at their job. This is particularly interesting if you met your partner at work and she displayed interest in you at the work place. Here you can start finding even more connections about each other you may have not realized and how it lead to your relationship blossoming.

Follow up questions you can ask:

• What was your most satisfying accomplishment at your workplace?
• Did money ever motivate you to work harder?
• Did you ever partake in any events?
• Was there any advice given to help reach your goals quicker?

Everybody has a moment they are most proud of themselves for and your partner is no different, although he/she might not have the answer at the tip of their fingers. Understanding this about one another strengthens the bond between you two while allowing you to know the way he/she processes things and emotions they feel at their job.

Just Speak Your Mind!

If you want to, why not just wing it and ask whatever you feel like asking?

Assuming your relationship is well-established and secure, both of you should feel at ease with any query each other may have. As long as you maintain respect and consider the feelings of your other half, it should be entirely alright to be straightforward in asking all the spontaneous questions you may have.

Being spontaneous opens up your personality and character!

A crucial point to take note of when asking your partner all these personal and intimate questions is that you should keep an open mind to their responses and be truly curious to ask more questions to find out more.

Compare your partner’s experiences with your own when the moment calls for it. That way, you can sustain the conversation and even discover new knowledge about your lover.

Ultimately, the person who best knows your partner and your relationship is you, so, don’t be afraid to take charge in deciding the topics of your conversations. Opening up and sharing each other’s perspectives is the best way to one another’s hearts. So, seize the moment and have a heart-to-heart with your other half today!

Remember, you are not only a couple, you are also two people who are best friends who mean the world to each other.